Posted by vwoolf on August 8, 2006, at 13:48:18
In reply to Re: Therapist integrity » vwoolf, posted by antigua on August 8, 2006, at 13:32:27
Hi Antigua, thanks for the suggestion. I know this is called splitting - seeing things and people as all good or all bad - and is a typically borderline trait. It's also something we all do in early childhood. I think I labelled myself "bad" as a small child to explain why I was abused, and my parents were "good". I couldn't have tolerated the idea that they might be "bad" - in fact I still have trouble seeing anything bad about my mother at all, even when she does things that are really hurtful to me. Let me give you an example that came up yesterday in therapy - there is a family heirloom that has been passed from mother to daughter in our family for hundreds of years. I am my mother's only daughter. A few years ago she bequeathed it to my niece, her granddaughter. I never said a word because I believed secretly that I was so "bad" that I didn't deserve it. I simply could not criticise my mother's behaviour. So, yes, I have always split in this way. But I thought that with my t I had set up a new, different kind of relationship. I suppose you're right, I'm just repeating old patterns again. Sigh. Will I ever break the cycle.
poster:vwoolf
thread:674779
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/674931.html