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Emotional rollercoaster wacky

Posted by pegasus on August 1, 2006, at 10:07:42

In reply to Re: Thanks! I'm feeling smart and sane, posted by wacky on July 31, 2006, at 11:55:01

Thanks wacky. Yeah, I actually sat down with the CEO and hashed it all out. Which resulted in a new way of organizing the dept which is at least better than what was handed to me after vacation. But I miss my old job, and the ownership I had over my projects. It's all split up now among different people. I know I can't do it all as the company grows. But I was doing a lot of it really well. And now I don't get final say over anything.

You know, I'm finding myself really emotionally unstable lately. Yesterday I was angry and crabby all day, and acting like a know it all. Last Friday I was in a really optimistic happy mood. Today I'm depressed and not wanting to deal with any of it. I don't want to talk to any of the people in my department. Whenever my boss gives me any input, I get mad at him. I cringe whenever I see him, and I dread going to work. Whenever the new woman in our dept says anything to me, I resist her, even when I know she's just trying to contribute to the department and wear the new leadership role she has. But whatever she has leadership over used to be mine to lead, so just her presence in meetings pisses me off.

I'm used to being a pretty independent worker, and now I have to collaborate on *everything*. I hate it.

I'm trying to figure out how to hang in there. I'm in an M.A. program in counseling psychology, and I really was hoping I could last in this job until I've finished that. Otherwise I can't afford to stay in school. I have to go slow, though, because I want to be there for my daughter too, and between work and school and her, it's a lot. I feel trapped, and hopeless.

I hope I don't have to give up my dream of a career change. I really love my classes, and I know I'd love a counseling career. I want to work with kids, and I've loved all of the experiences I've had with that in school. Love it love it love it.

But now my plan is looking unworkable. I'm feeling pretty down

peg

 

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