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Re: I really am sorry and I am really scared.. Dinah

Posted by happyflower on July 28, 2006, at 7:14:04

In reply to Re: I really am sorry and I am really scared.. happyflower, posted by Dinah on July 27, 2006, at 20:56:47

I really wish I could get restraining order, but her last physically abuse was more than 7 years ago, and in my state you almost have to hurt you first in order to get a protection order. I could even have threatening letters, threats on my answering service, but I still couldn't get one. But she is mentally thinkingis unstable anyways, so I doubt it would keep her from harming me or my family if she wanted to. If anything it might set her off. My T says she is one scary b*tch. He said this after about 3 months of therapy, I was so shocked he said that, but he is right.
I know I am getting all worked up for something that might not happen, but it seems like I can't help it, I am feeling the axiety throughout my body. My normal coping mech. are not working. I don't drink or do drugs, so all I have is yoga, and it isn't working.

My poems are really raw feeling emotions, most I couldn't post on the boards. They are about my T , my DH and my mother, and Andrea Yates. Writing ususally calms me down, but I just can't get rid of the anger of being scared. I am so mad that she can still do this to me. I guess that is what it is , I am mad that she can make me feel like this. I guess the roots of those feelings go deep, because I can't shake them. AAAUUUGGHHHH! I just want to hide under my T's desk for a month, do you think he will let me?




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