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Re: bizarre meeting(s) Ľ ElaineM

Posted by Tamar on July 25, 2006, at 14:17:30

In reply to bizarre meeting(s) [and llrrrpp], posted by ElaineM on July 24, 2006, at 21:02:22

Hi Elaine,

Iíve been away from the boards for a while, but Iíve been thinking about you. Iím so sorry youíre going through such a hard time physically. I think I can understand why you donít want to think about it or read about it. I know exactly what you mean about making it real. On the other hand, might you feel in a bit more control if you knew more about your illness? I only ask because I became diabetic about four years ago and Iíve found that understanding it helps me to manage it better. And I can ask doctors for specific things that Iíve read about. But of course not all conditions are the same.

Iím still very worried about your therapistís behaviour. Therapists are supposed to limit the amount of personal information they give out about themselves, because clients might think they have to behave in a certain way to make sure the therapist still likes them. Thatís what seems to have happened with the thing he told you about why he left his wife, and your memory that heíd said something similar to you. No wonder you worry that he might abandon you. His disclosures about himself are playing on some of your deepest fears. No therapist should *ever* tell a client why he left his wife. There are no circumstances in which itís appropriate.

Iím also worried about the love poetry. My question is always: How is that therapy? I know you said that perhaps he wanted to help you to relax, but as a therapist he should be helping you to explore possible methods of relaxation. He should be saying, ďHave you tried reading poetry?Ē or ďHow do you feel when you sit quietly and listen to music?Ē But what he did was intrusive. Asking you to read love poetry doesnít sound like therapy; it sounds like seduction. But the purpose of your meetings with him is supposed to be therapy. If you need therapy and youíre not getting it from your therapist, then what will you do for therapy?

Sorry to be so negative about him. But I hate seeing you so hurt and fearful. And the thing that makes me terribly sad is: itís completely unnecessary. If he were a responsible therapist you would have appropriate support from him and you would be working through your difficulties. Instead, it sounds as if life is even harder than it needs to be Ė and when itís so hard in the first place, I feel you could do without the extra strain.

I know itíll be hard for you while heís on holiday. If you feel up to it, come and post here lots and lots. Itís always good to see your posts, and I hope you know we care about you.

Tamar


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Tamar thread:669755
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/670378.html