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Re: bizarre meeting(s) [and llrrrpp] ElaineM

Posted by llrrrpp on July 24, 2006, at 21:27:12

In reply to bizarre meeting(s) [and llrrrpp], posted by ElaineM on July 24, 2006, at 21:02:22

This stuff T is doing is totally crossing the line. I think he is using you to fulfill some fantasy of his, and no wonder you're confused. You're not a fantasy, you're his client for god's sake! He's trying to change you all right. But not for the better. He's trying to change you into someone who will give him some kind of romantic satisfaction. This is very alarming ElaineM. I hope you can recognize that it is unprofessional.

I worry that that surreal feeling you describe is actually some kind of dissociation. Like how we kind of go into a little dream/trance when we are confused and traumatized.

Anyways, think long and hard about why you're in therapy. rewind your life to the time when you were referred to this guy. What was he supposed to be doing to help you improve your life and realize your dreams? What does it mean to you to feel better? What are your long term goals in life? To have a job, start a family, join the peace corps, travel abroad, retire early, reconnect with your parents, Move to the big city, start a horse farm [not necessarily in that order, *grin*]?

Anyways, his behavior is very alarming. I'm worried that he is making you feel weaker and less self-reliant all the time. This makes it easier for him to manipulate you. I don't want you to become his puppet. I think you are a wonderful person, and you deserve to fall in love with someone who can love you for who you are, and make you stronger with their love, not weaker and more uncertain.

I hope I haven't offended you; I'm concerned about you and I only want the best for you. I don't know anything about the T-client relationship. If you were dating this guy, and he *weren't* your T, I'd still say it was a distructive relationship.

take care,
(p.s. your writing is great. Don't you dare deflect that compliment!!)




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