Posted by cecilia on July 15, 2006, at 9:36:43 [reposted on July 15, 2006, at 13:30:48 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Can't Get Over It, posted by SLS on July 15, 2006, at 8:55:53
My self esteem is non existent. Reading the CBT books just makes me mad, I can't make myself believe any of the thoughts I'm supposed to believe and I'm certainly not going to do the shame reducing exercises. I have more than enough shame already without deliberately increasing it. I hate David Burns and his smug "guaranteed to work" claims. He makes me think of a TV evangelicist. Believe what I believe and you will be saved (from depression). Choose not to believe, well it's your fault you're depressed. Doesn't matter whether it's true, all you've got to do is BELIEVE (and do your homework). Write down the "rational" thoughts you don't believe 500 times until you're willing to admit you believe them.
7:29 am. I've got to figure out a way to program my computer so I can't use it at night. Another night without sleep. I take 10 mg Ambien and lie sleeplessly for hours stewing over one thing or another and finally take another 5 mg and tell myself I'll just go on the computer for half an hour until it takes effect and then of course hours pass. Cecilia