Posted by Karolina on July 12, 2006, at 22:06:53
I hate having to realize the fact that my T sees other girls just like me and the possibility that he could feel a strong connection, deep care for them, etc. I know that sounds irrational, considering this is his job, but I just wonder has he said the same things to them as he has said to me?
Thinking about the whole relationship right now just makes me feel angry. He mentioned awhile back about how he was very fond of one particular girl and that she thought of him as a friend and all this stuff and it just made me feel sick. I don't want to hear about his other therapeutic relationships. Am I being unrealstic and selfish for being upset about him caring about other female clients? I don't know why this bothers me so much.
On a different subject, I am feeling so much hurt and pain right now but it feels almost impossible to express these emotions outwardly. I wish I could just cry and let it all out, I wish someone would offer me physical comfort like a simple hand on the shoulder, or even more so, a hug. I wish that *he* would give me a hug...he has before and it was very intense.
Is there a way to bring up this desire without sounding like a desperate moron? I don't know why I wish so badly that he'd offer some sort of physical comfort again, but I want it so badly. I don't even mean anything sexual. Just something caring or comforting. I am miserable right now.