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Re: Am I being too selfish

Posted by ElaineM on June 23, 2006, at 19:25:56

In reply to Am I being too selfish, posted by orchid on June 22, 2006, at 13:06:57

Orchid, I don't think you are selfish at all. I can really indentify with how torn you could be with being asked to comfort someone else - even a family member. I don't talk about it much myself (I don't have the exact same thing though) cause it is too difficult. No one can understand what the pain feels/felt like for you. And I've found it really hard when others try to place my experience in relation to some other pain they went through. Even when I know they are trying to relate, or share, or something.

It's gotta be hard cause I bet you'd like to console her. But on the days that I can push the pain from my mind for a moment, I know my own brain instinctively fights to shut-out ANYTHING that would remind me of it. Anything. (That's why I very rarely even talk about it)

But I do think that it would help letting your mom know that you know how consuming it can be, especially with a new diagnosis, and how it makes you grasp for help in all directions. And then tell her how triggering it is for you to talk about it, though you'll always offer as much comfort as you can.

This issue is an emotional one for me too. So much so that I sometimes forget that it is only natural for others to feel that their own pain is the greatest. But it is hard to rationalize with memories of flare-ups and pain in your head. (When the pain is worst I can hardly tell the difference between up and down.)

Please don't be too hard on yourself.




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