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Re: what was i thinking?! » Karolina

Posted by Tamar on June 16, 2006, at 3:52:45

In reply to what was i thinking?!, posted by Karolina on June 15, 2006, at 22:43:45

I think what you did was very brave. And you are definitely not a hoe.

I can’t predict what he will say to you. But I hope he’s a good therapist and that he will accept your feelings without rejecting you. He might very well tell you that he won’t risk hurting you by getting intimate with you in that way. After all, according to all the research, sexual relationships with therapists almost inevitably end up hurting the client. But that on its own probably won’t help you.

I hope he will say something like: You feelings are very powerful and important. And they are also natural and good. It’s very good that you can experience feelings of love and desire, because these are feelings that can bring a great deal of joy to human experience.

Feeling love and desire for your therapist is often partly symbolic and can point to things that are missing in your life. Perhaps you crave acceptance and love from others. And exploring your feelings for your therapist at a symbolic level can help you to identify what you need from other people. Ideally this process of exploration will help you to find ways of getting your needs met by people in your life who are not your therapist: people who can return your love and desire in an appropriate relationship.

But I really think the key thing is that your feelings are very good. It can be painful to love and want your therapist, but it is good that you are able to feel love. Some people can’t feel love or desire because they are so ill or so damaged. Felling love and desire for your therapist is a very positive thing, and I hope he will feel honoured that you’ve been able to feel those things for him, and that you were able to tell him about your feelings.

Let us know how things go!

Tamar


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