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Re: Competitive? Me?

Posted by Tamar on June 5, 2006, at 16:46:02

In reply to Re: Competitive? Me? » Tamar, posted by Dinah on June 4, 2006, at 9:13:31

> Hmmm... I don't consider myself particularly competitive. Well, not since school anyway.

I wasn't even very competitive at school!

> But I have the same reaction. I'm not sure it's competitiveness. I think it's just that some authority figures have trouble conceding that they may possibly be wrong, and I react to that. I like to think I'm polite but firm, but perhaps I'm not.

I'd LOVE to be polite but firm. Instead I often end up getting angry and rude. Need to learn to control those emotional outbursts...

> One thing I like about my therapist is that he's always willing to concede he may be wrong about just about everything. He may not be willing to do things my way. But he'll concede that while he believes he's correct, it's always possible he's wrong.

Well, it seems my therapist is willing to admit to being wrong when he really is wrong. And I've thought about it, and I don't even feel distressed that he won't do things my way. What I find hard is that he won't consider it, and he won't ask me why I think it would be useful to do things differently.

> It's like taking away the wall I'm pushing against. I stumble forward and generally will entertain the possibility that he's correct. Then we can have a real discussion of the merits of each of our positions.

I'd like that. That would be nice.

> Maybe you should point out that you aren't trying to compete with him in his area of expertise, you're just trying to get him to recognize that while he has expertise in psychology, you have expertise in yourself, and all you want is to have a relationship where both of your expertise is recognized so that you can work cooperatively to best address the issues.

Exactly! That's what I want. Hmmm... I'll see what he says.

> Of course, biofeedback guy never got that. And pdoc1 never got that. I hope your therapist can get that. (If I'm stating it correctly, of course. If not, I hope he can get whatever is the correct explanation.)

I think it takes someone unusually open-minded to get it. I hope I can figure this out with my therapist.

Thanks Dinah!


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poster:Tamar thread:651085
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060604/msgs/653294.html