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Re: Back to victimization... » Larry Hoover

Posted by Racer on May 24, 2006, at 21:57:13

In reply to Re: Back to victimization... » Racer, posted by Larry Hoover on May 24, 2006, at 18:59:13

> > Actually being helpless, though?
>
> I have an instinctive response for you to consider. You have indeed isolated the aspect of this experience, and its re-experiencing, that is so hard to accept. I would suggest rephrasing it. It's more than semantics.

I agree absolutely. I've even written that on this board to others who do the same thing: "Don't look at is as 'I was victimized,' but as 'someone did something bad TO ME.'" It's absolutely true, that the way you express it can change the way you experience it.

On the other hand, every time I try to get there on these things, I immediately go into, "but it's my fault" mode. I'm obviously "trying to avoid taking responsibility for myself," or "trying to blame someone else for what I brought on myself," etc. (And I'll bet those sorts of things resonate wiht a lot of people, right?)

I don't know. I think just having the insight that I really can't stand to think that I didn't have any power in that situation was enough for today. Next week, after finals, I can go back to trying to face up to having been powerless.
>
> Option: Your choose was expressed, but it was not listened to.

This one is actually kinda triggering for me, because the next place I go with it is, "But what's wrong with me that I can't make myself heard? What am I doing wrong? I try so hard, but I don't know how, and it's because there's something fundamentally wrong with me." And, actually, it goes downhill from there.

> Lar
>
> P.S. I LOVE the word yet. It changes *everything*.

:-) Thank you, Larry.


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