Posted by fallsfall on May 23, 2006, at 15:37:51
In reply to Re: scared of going to the hospital *trigger* ? B2chica, posted by llrrrpp on May 23, 2006, at 11:31:08
It sounds like you feel lousy, but that you really don't WANT to die. Having thoughts of suicide and even a plan for suicide are not the same as DOING it.
My experience is that if I could promise my therapist that I could call her before I took action, that she wouldn't put me in the hospital. Sometimes it is called "contracting for safety". It means that if you find yourself starting to act on your plan (buy required items, or go to your chosen place, etc.) that you HAVE to call and let them help you. So, in that case, you go to the hospital only if you can't keep yourself from acting on your suicidal thoughts. And at that point (as long as you really, deep down, don't want to die), going to the hospital is a good thing.
Do tell your therapist EVERYTHING you can. When do you see him/her next? Call and make an earlier appointment if it isn't in the next day or two. Call if you find yourself drowning in the suicidal thoughts. The whole point of a therapist is that then you won't have to deal with all of this all by yourself. They have heard it before from other people. They DO know how to help. The more open and honest you can be the more they can help.
Make a list of things to do to distract you (Watch TV, go to a movie, call a friend, go for a walk, go grocery shopping, play solitaire with real cards). Make a list of people who you could call who would come keep you company (it is really hard to do suicidal things when someone is sitting next to you).
Over time, you will learn how to handle the suicidal feelings. In the meantime, please keep yourself safe by calling your therapist when you don't feel safe.
And post here. There really are a lot of things you can do to keep safe. It is hard when you feel this way for the first time because you don't know any of them.
Good luck.
Falls.P.S. And go to the ER if you are in danger.
poster:fallsfall
thread:647225
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/647377.html