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Re: I'm just not getting over this. » madeline

Posted by Tamar on April 25, 2006, at 19:51:35

In reply to I'm just not getting over this., posted by madeline on April 24, 2006, at 6:51:42

Hey Madeline,

I hate those exams too… can’t stand them.

> I keep replaying the exam in my head and the feelings afterward. It's the last thing I think about at night before the sleeping pill kicks in and the first thing I think about in the morning.

Yeah, I’ve done that too. And I suspect in my case it’s a distraction from thinking about the thing that caused the original pain: the pain that the gyn exam reminds me of.

> I feel so abandoned, manipulated and just gone. Just absolutely vanished.
>
> I go to my T today and that's a good thing, but we've already talked about this for one whole session. I don't know what more he can add. He has no clue what it is like.
>
> In order to feel more in control, I've researched so much about pelvic exams I could probably DO one, but it seems to be retraumatizing me even more.
>
> I'm really at a loss here. I've got to quit being so upset about this and move on. But I just don't think I can.

Don’t be too hard on yourself! If you’re not ready to move on, there’s no need to push yourself. You are upset for a reason. You are allowed to be upset. It was an upsetting experience, and you’re not alone.

Last time I went for a pelvic exam I took my husband and he held my hand and I cried all the way through it. Then I spent most of the weekend sleeping, because I needed lots of time to recover. Give yourself the time you need. You deserve it.

Tamar



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