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Re: Why is the T relationship sometimes the hardest » happyflower

Posted by daisym on April 24, 2006, at 17:27:36

In reply to Why is the T relationship sometimes the hardest, posted by happyflower on April 24, 2006, at 14:18:34

Sometimes I hate it too. I think if you really think you are getting mixed signals, bring it up. Because often talking it through either makes the feelings more OK, or helps them dissipate. I have a hard time charging in and doing this, but eventually I'll let my therapist know I have a question about something. And he might be surprised at how I've taken something, or might own up to it, and explain why he did X or Y or Z.

In my own head, I think these feelings make it harder to live with someone who doesn't respond to you in the way you need. It makes you super lonely to be aware that you need caring for and your SO doesn't/can't do it. I think loving your therapist in a deep, special way is different than lusting after them. Lust doesn't hurt. But the awareness of how deep you can feel for someone "you can't have" does. It hurts a lot.

Eventually you have to figure out how to channel the feelings and the needs elsewhere. And yet preserve the deep connection of the therapy relationship for support and safety. It is tricky and I haven't figure it out yet.

Mostly I just wanted to say, "I agree: X@##$^&*(#$!"

 

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