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Re: This was soooo wierd ***pos trigger**** » madeline

Posted by milly on March 15, 2006, at 7:00:36

In reply to Re: This was soooo wierd ***pos trigger**** » milly, posted by madeline on March 14, 2006, at 11:28:41

Maddie, thanks for you post

> I don't know if your T actually said "you got yourself in a position to be raped because you didn't want to be rude" or if that is something you are just thinking.

To be fair i don't think he was refering to the rape more to the zillion other situations I put up with or blame myself for. I moved it on in my head to include the rape.


> In either case, it is NOT true. What happened to you is a case of an evil person doing an evil thing. Period. You did nothing to "cause" him to rape you. If your T said that, then SHAME ON HIM.

> Also, not wanting to be rude is a very natural thing. I mean NOBODY gets up in the morning and decides, you know I think I'm going to be rude all day.
> Being civil and cordial to each other is what makes living with each other possible. In fact, I bet 99.9% of people sitting on that couch would have done the exact same thing you did. And most of them are not stupid people and neither are you.
>
> Finally, there is a difference in being honest and in being rude. I think therein may lie the trouble for you (and for most people too, me included). If you think that being assertive is something you have trouble with, then role-playing is the best thing in the world. Try to engage your therapist in helping you to actually enact and internalize being honest and assertive with people.

I just can't seem to help myself seeing things from the other persons perspective and trying desperatly hard to ensure they don't feel the hurt, rejection, humiliation through my actions that i have known.

> I'm sorry you only have three sessions left. Hopefully your T can provide you with referrals that will help you develop a long-term, reliable relationship with a therapist so you can continue to heal.

I'm sorry too I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to 'start again' nor if I could cope with suffering the huge transference again should it occur.

> Bottom line, I don't think you are stupid, I think you are a person doing the best she can.

Thanks
Milly


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poster:milly thread:620167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/620513.html