Posted by Dinah on February 23, 2006, at 9:40:24
Daisy's post to Mair got me thinking about why I think my therapist is good for *me*. I won't say perfect, but pretty good under better circumstances.
The most important thing is that he's so solid and feels so safe. I don't know how much of that is physical because he's a very large man with a very deep resonant voice. And darnit I think that may make a difference. Maybe I need a large male therapist...
The other really great thing he does (that's great for me anyway) is that he's completely nonconfrontative. And since I tend to have inherited my mother's tendency to be contrary (oh lordy, there's more than a few sessions), though of course not to the same degree, it gives me nothing to resist and if I try I just fall flat because there's nothing pushing back. Then I pick myself up and come to a reasonable conclusion myself that he couldn't possibly have pushed me into.
He's completely unflappable. Which is so important to me with two very flappable parents and a reasonably flappable husband. He does tend to get angry sometimes, and is more than a bit defensive, but by the next session he's forgotten it. Wait, the latter part might not be so good. There's nothing so annoying as being prepared to continue a fight from the previous week only to find a composed and calm and totally forgive and forget therapist.
He's inordinately patient. And he's someone who's willing to fight to relationship with me. He's willing to commit and to work on the relationship based on that commitment.
He doesn't use humor with me much, because I tend to be so literal. But he does use humor to view me. I love it when he laughs at me. Maybe just because Daddy did.
On the why he's not so good for me, I'd have to say that personally he's as disorganized a person as I have ever met. His life is not at all predictable or stable, and even before the hurricane he generally didn't know when he was leaving town till the day before. He keeps awful appointment schedules. Forget about expecting him to call when he says he will. He might even be a bit passive aggressive about it. He also tends to blurt things that I certainly wouldn't say and that can sometimes be hurtful. Off the cuff type things that don't seem related to his therapeutic purpose. I wish he would give more interpretive comments instead of always making me figure things out. Not push them, but just put them out there and let me mull them over even if I reject them.
But Daisy, any time your therapist registers to give a for credit course, my therapist says he'll attend as long as I pay his travel costs. It may well be worth it. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:612410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/612410.html