Posted by Susan47 on February 21, 2006, at 15:26:02
In reply to Re: on knowing 'too much' about your T, posted by Dia on February 21, 2006, at 13:26:31
>... censor or watch what I say. It's harsh but I always thought that if someone was stupid enough to write out something really personal on the internet, then it's their own fault if they end up feeling 'violated' because somebody else read it.
You know, I suspect you're trying to make excuses for your own behaviour, with that kind of justification ... are you subconsciously stretching "internet" to also mean "e-mail"? Maybe give that a bit of serious, deep and honest thought .. I think it's called soul-searching, and the hardest thing anybody ever has to do. I had a career that involved knowing too much about people. What you're doing to your "therapist" is extremely destructive to you and him, even if he never found out, the fact that you're doing it is a violation of his spiritual self. I believe when a person's been hurt in this way, even if they never find out, it's extremely destructive to their life force. It's why I worked so hard at never doing it, I was lucky for knowing that. I know the pain of wanting someone for yourself, of knowing you don't have them and they're always with others more important to them than you are, the loneliness of abandonment and the dealing with it in adulthood, the anxiety and blackness, the pure desperate feeling of knowing you're nothing, nothing to anybody who matters ... you have to stop what you're doing, though, because even you must know how much you're hurting yourself, his life isn't the only one you're disrespecting, you know.