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Sort of better, sort of not 10derHeart

Posted by Dinah on February 17, 2006, at 11:22:59

In reply to well, ok then :-) be well, rest, we'll be here (nm) Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on February 15, 2006, at 18:55:18

Feeling physically better, but just plain weird otherwise. Like I'm not real, or don't really exist, or at least not as myself. It almost feels like a variation on the physical feelings of disorientation earlier this week.

My circadian rhythms are way off. Not even an early morning provigil can budge me out of bed before ten am, and then I can't sleep at night. I'm getting a full night's sleep, but not at the right time.

But maybe it's not physical. I have been trying to get ready for next hurricane season by putting everything on hard drives, so I've been converting old home videos (and old video conversions of reel to reel home movies). So many loves now gone. Dogs, Daddy. And in many ways, me. I'm not the person I was, not only as a child, but not even shortly before my marriage (and I got married old).

I've been having nightmares about the dogs, and maybe Daddy too.

Did you know that I used to jump up and down in place. Straight up and down. And flap my hands in excitement? I knew I did it (well, the jumping part anyway), but it was weird to see again.

 

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