Posted by B2chica on February 13, 2006, at 13:26:50
In reply to Hey B2, posted by muffled on February 13, 2006, at 13:08:45
She's going to keep the pain for two reasons...1 she deserves it (like a good little girl-TAKE IT)
and 2-no one else can handle it. i know how to contain it.. i used to have one other i called super-b#tch but i haven't seen her in a long time. she used to contain this and be agressive, at her job, in relationships and with family. she's been gone for almost a year. every once and a while i think i see her, then no, she's gone. she was my protector. i think my little one and her are pulling for attention and some how little b2's been winning, maybe cuz of T.
she wants to give it to T2 SOOOOOO bad, i don't mean pass along, i mean AT her. but i can't cuz i need to use T2. i want to look at my file again and copy some stuff down. and if let her get mad at T2 then T2 won't let me look into files.
i gotta be good to her so i can get what i want from her.i need to deal with things but i don't know how.
why do i even exist.
why is my responsibility to the world?
i owe them so much and give so little. i'm bad. i disrespect life. i think now that i came out to T1 that i have a right to think i'm ok. i'm not, i s@ck, stuipd, disgusting. there are so many out there that are killed...why not me? why don't i get murdered? i at fault for things, they say. i am. they that hurt me stupid and don't know better. i deserve to be punished for their not knowing. that's why big b2 needs to get smarter....keep getting smarter and smarter so she doens't make the same mistakes. cuz grownups are stupider than little girls and besides...i'm NOT LITTLE, i'm BIG...i had sex at 8 or 9 so i'm grown up. how old am i? am i 8 or 9? i think 9 no 8...i want to tell all now...i want to tell him, want to tell T2...why did he move...why couldn't god wait 2 more months before he moved my T. i guess others needed him more where he's at now. i hate him for leaving me. i love him for taking me in.i want a 60lb bag too, actually i have 160lb bag....me. i've gained 40 lbs on this stupid zyprexa that i can't wait to get off of. i'm fat and stupid. but manipulative mind. though i'd never do that here. i like all you so much. i say how it is here and you all still don't mind. so i don't haveta pretend.
thnx
poster:B2chica
thread:609157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/609195.html