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Re: There are some things therapy can't fix - trig madeline

Posted by Daisym on January 30, 2006, at 23:53:32

In reply to Re: There are some things therapy can't fix - trig, posted by madeline on January 30, 2006, at 21:02:26

I believe what you are experiencing is grief. At some point we come to the realization that we can't undo what was done and we don't get a "do over." Can it be fixed? NO - because you aren't a child anymore and it isn't still happening. So there isn't anything, in a sense, to fix.

I think what must happen is to allow yourself to fully feel the terror, panic and hatred that exists in these kinds of situations but is forced underground in order to survive. You were strong enough to get through it then and you are strong enough to be working on it in therapy now -- that says a lot. Once you can feel all this with your therapists support, you can then look at the lasting impacts your experiences have had on your life. For example, if you quit everytime a boss raises her voice, even if it isn't at you, you are likely reacting to being triggered. This can be worked out by developing other coping strategies, which aren't as extreme as running away. Some of our behaviors are so programed that we aren't even aware that they are keeping us from finding happiness. We are hyper vigilent to prevent hurt instead.

I think this is what your therapist can do for you. He can help you discover what works for you and he can give you the space to mourn your lost childhood. It takes a long time and there are many painful steps to go through. But you aren't alone. We are here to help.





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