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Re: my new coping (?) mechanism fallsfall

Posted by crushedout on January 28, 2006, at 18:16:25

In reply to Re: my new coping (?) mechanism crushedout, posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2006, at 17:50:14

it just occurred to me that i did this to myself on purpose (semisubconsciously, of course), to force closure maybe? to forge a connection with my new T? I'm trying to force a transference of my feelings from old T to new. I don't know if it's going to work. This is wild speculation to some extent, but I have a solid hunch.

'Course the webpage wasn't there a month ago so it also partly has nothing to do with anything I can actually control. But the fact that I went looking for it is obviously not just a coincidence.

isn't it crazy that i would (even subconsciously) force a crisis upon myself when all is going well? i think i do it all the time. i obviously have to take a look at why i might be doing this.

I'm writing this all down more for myself, so I can record it somewhere where I can go back and see it. Because I'm afraid I'll forget what all this means, and learn from it (for the next time? :-( i don't want to ever go through anything like this again.)

but thoughts are always welcome. thank you falls




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