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Need some advice , please! Daisym

Posted by happyflower on January 27, 2006, at 18:49:02

In reply to Re: Had a good session today! happyflower, posted by Daisym on January 27, 2006, at 10:52:41

Hi Daisy,
Thanks for responding, I do need some advice, I hope you are right people are just busy and stuff to respond to my posts.

I think what I felt when I first talked about the elephant, was relief, I finally was able to bring it out into the open.

But I didn't tell him that I loved him, because I am not thinking that I do. I do feel a bond with him that started the first day I talked to him on the phone. I have only felt this bond with 2 other people in my life who are all dead now. THe bond (as my T calls it) is that special feeling that I don't know what it is or if it has a purpose. I have been trying to find out the meaning of these feelings for years. I still feel this connection to these people within myself. It is weird. Is it fate, is it soul mates, what is it? This is what I want to talk more about with my T .

Am I reading too much into the amazing coincidenses between us that we keep discovering about each other? Does that special feeling that I have about him have anything to do with it?

After talking a little about it with him about fate and what I find that I read, I am not sure if I believe in fate either. But I am not sure. But I want to talk about it, and hopefully he can help me get an understanding on what it all means.

When he mentioned about the others who have fallen in love with him being transference, he said it often ends rather quickly when he doesn't return the feelings. He hasn't done anything and my feelings are the same. I told him that I am not in love with him, but I like him a lot and enjoy talking to him and it sucks that we can't have a social relationship after therapy.

I guess my mood swings was about first relief, than reality, we can't be friends or have coffee together even though we would both like it if the situation was different.

I will accept whatever his boundries are and live with it, it will hard to lose the connection. Even thought I think the connection will continue at least for me, even without talking to him socially.

I do admit that I am physically attracted to him, but I don't believe that is love though. Yeah, I have fantasies about that too. I haven't told him about that though, I don't know if it is really important. I know he is attracted to me too, but he doesn't talk about either. I might tell him though.

Maybe I will never find answers to my questions about this special bond that I feel. Maybe it is just what it is, a bond. I just want to explore it though.
So I don't know what to do, other than talk about it all with him. He said he would talk about fate with me and the feelings that I have next session.
He knows this has been on my mind for a long time now, and I need to talk about it no matter how awkward it is. Athough he said since my feelings aren't romantic, that it isn't awkward for him. So I am glad we wil be able to talk about this.
So does this help in giving me some advice or does it make any sense? Thanks again,
Happyflower


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:happyflower thread:602791
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/603577.html