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Re: The EMDR therapist.. Pfinstegg

Posted by Daisym on January 27, 2006, at 11:05:08

In reply to Re: The EMDR therapist.., posted by Pfinstegg on January 26, 2006, at 1:15:08

This idea of emotional neglect and abandonment is really up for me right now. As I struggle with the things in my life that aren't going well, I have come to realize that I need to change my behavior and response in order for things to get better.

But- that might mean people will stop liking/loving me because I haven't earned their love. So they withdraw it. I can see this is an old, old feeling, set in motion when I was very young and needed to be perfect, advanced and grown up in order to have my mother's approval. The abuse falls in here too, but in a different way. I needed to do what he wanted so he would love me too. And in the end, he left anyway and my mother withdrew into herself. So nothing was enough to prevent the abandonment.

The most terrifying thing for me in being attached to my therapist is that he could withdraw his support at any time. EMDR terrifies me for two reasons: 1) What if something worse comes out and it is to much for him to handle?
2) What if it works and I don't "need" him anymore -- I lose him this way too.

We've talked a lot about the fear of getting better. He said it is another defensive position for me, something else to keep the younger parts from talking too much. One part of me says, "if you tell, he will go away" -- and the internal war continues.

So, this is a long way to say that I'll be watching your experience closely and I hope it works well for you. Please keep writing about it.




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