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Re: Intense feelings for T littleone

Posted by littlegirllost on January 24, 2006, at 15:26:52

In reply to Re: Intense feelings for T littlegirllost, posted by littleone on January 15, 2006, at 23:50:04

> You remind me a lot of me. Im sorry it takes me so long to reply. I find posting hard and usually have to let things percolate a bit before responding. Its no reflection on you. I like talking to you.

>>> Thanks, and backatcha! :)
My posting is usually very sporadic either because I just don't have the time to keep up, but also because reading these posts also tends to stir up all my feelings for T.

> Im not sure if this is a problem for you or not, but I know I have problems holding on to my T. I cant remember what he looks or sounds like. Sometimes hes so far away from me I wonder if he was someone I made up. I just cant stay connected to him. I know sometimes it was bad to leave him because I could already feel him disappearing. It even felt like he was leaving me (rather than me walking away) which brought up abandonment fears.
>
> Is any of that like what you experience?

>>>>Yes, very much so. Often I come home not feeling like I really "saw" her. I don't have such great eye contact to begin with, but even when I'm looking at her, I may not actually see her. So then it's harder afterwards. Sometimes I will sit there and tell myself (during the session) to take notice of what she is wearing, at least the color, so I will have proof later... sort of... It is hard though. And some weeks are harder with no real explanation either.

ugh...

lgl

 

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