Posted by ClearSkies on January 23, 2006, at 7:12:40
In reply to just feeling so ground down and hurting, posted by Racer on January 22, 2006, at 21:21:53
Racer,
I am finding that the direction my therapy goes in has a delayed and profound effect on how I feel physically. Stirring up feelings and thoughts also stirs up my depression and mood swings. I am more aware of how uncontrolled my physical symptoms are, even on medications. At the same time, after an incredibly dumb couple of days when I tried to decrease the dosage of one of them, I have a greater appreciation of the effectiveness of the drugs.
What I'm doing at the moment in therapy is reading a book... and thinking about what I've read. This has been enough for me to examine my thoughts and feelings with a lot more intensity, and hopefully, insight. The whole experience makes me feel pretty crummy. Realizing that my overreactions to what others say to me is all about how I feel about myself rather than how others might feel about me?? well, I am reeling. And sleeping. And getting fat. And feeling very much not OK. And this is all just from READING. Gaahhh!The pdoc conversation about your efforts in therapy really needs to be addressed next time you see him. Have you talked with your T about what the pdoc said? What was her feedback? Maybe THEY need to speak with each other so you aren't feeling so pulled apart.
I wish the group therapy was of more use to you. Feeling isolated in a group with others is something I'm used to - my sobriety group, for example, has no other members who deal with mental health issues as I do. The last time I described how my depression was altering how I felt about my sobriety, my comments fell into an untidy pile on the floor in front of me. These compassionate women had no idea how to relate to me, except to suggest that I go to my pdoc and have my medications assessed. So I can relate how you're in a group where you are "supposed" to feel supported, but instead feel more isolated. I try to filter out the bits that don't fit me - OK, the huge chunks that don't fit - and take in the important parts that do address the common issues. Try thinking about what you have in common with the others in the group... what has brought you together? What common goals do you share?
I hope this doesn't come off as a finger-wagging post. I just wanted you to know that I understand how frsutrated you must feel that your treatment is leaving you feeling so badly right now.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:601911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/602031.html