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Re: T said to keep depression as long as I want it

Posted by fairywings on January 21, 2006, at 22:06:11

In reply to Re: T said to keep depression as long as I want it fairywings, posted by Poet on January 21, 2006, at 17:28:46

Oh Poet, you are so funny. That brought a smile to my heart. Honestly though, that's what he's saying to me - just smile, do fun things, do things that push the envelope, and it will all feel better. I've been trying to do that, but today it actually made me feel worse bec. I kept thinking I was being fake. I do try very hard not to act this way in front of anyone. Who wants to put up with this crap? He's the only one I felt like it was okay to be this way with bec. I thought he was supposed to understand.

I"m really afraid to go back. I think I'd rather quit than face him after all of this. That's my answer to conflict. This was the 2nd appt. where I felt so depressed, and I think bec. of what he's said, I'm too embarrassed to go back. I feel ashamed of how I feel, and you know when they ask what you want to talk about, I was a complete blank.

I wrote him a note today and told him that I was just trying to tell him how I felt; that it's very embarrassing for me to admit I feel depressed, and that some of the things he said were hurtful and some not helpful. It was a very short note. I took it to his office bec. I didn't want anyone else to read it if he doesn't open his own mail. How freaking embarrassing, I'd feel like a loser if I went back.

thanks Poet.




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