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Re: Talking about anger » daisym

Posted by All Done on January 10, 2006, at 0:26:24

In reply to Talking about anger, posted by daisym on January 9, 2006, at 19:39:07

> How can I do this and still guarantee that he won't change how he is with me? Or worse, tell me he doesn't want to work with me anymore?
>
> I'm scared and confused tonight.

(((Daisy))),

I'm sorry you're feeling scared and confused. I understand where you're coming from, though.

I wish I could address all of your questions and have the perfect answers for you. The one thing I can say with a fair amount of certainty is that your T will not say he doesn't want to work with you anymore if you express anger toward him. From everything you've told us, the two of you have built a pretty strong therapeutic relationship. Plus, I'm guessing your T has been and is expecting some anger to be directed at him at some point. He can handle it. He's good at what he does.

Is there a guarantee he won't change how he is with you? Nope. But...don't you feel your relationship has been evolving since day one? It's ever changing for both of you. And this is part of that process. One of the points in my therapy that brought me a bit closer to my T was when I was angry with him over that insurance mess. We argued. I believe we were both mad (perhaps more me at him than him at me), but I found that he won't drop me like a hot potato just because I express some anger. I admired the way we both handled the situation and it helped me to trust him even more.

Now, I realize the insurance matter made me angry but kind of just on the surface. I'm upset with him for something that goes a bit deeper right now and I am nervous about telling him I'm mad. I understand how hard it is.

But I'll tell my T, if you tell yours. And we can go shoe shopping afterwards. :)

Laurie


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poster:All Done thread:597312
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/597422.html