Posted by one woman cine on December 2, 2005, at 15:05:14
In reply to Re: (Yet) another perspective on love in therapy, posted by Dinah on December 2, 2005, at 9:50:47
Thanks for weighing in on this post.
I just want to say, again; that people have expressed dismay and fear that they are being discussed outside of their therapists office - but that is not what I said. Confidentialality is a sacred thing - but I understand why people would infer that's what I'm saying. I think perhaps b/c it's such a great fear.
There are good and bad therapists; I have had bad ones, horrible in fact. Now I have a good one. & part of feeling "taken care" in therapy for me, is about having a definable frame. My last therapist would call me a few times a week unasked just to "talk", our meeting times were unpredictable - & generally therapy was oozing into every portion of my life. The great thing about good therapy, I think, is that you can leave - but carry the ideas or the therapist around internally (in your head or heart). But if that isn't present, it can throw one into a serious maelstrom. It did for me.
& basically, I brought up this topic b/c I think most people in therapy "love" their therapists in one form or another. It helps to know one isn't alone with this - but I think it would've helped me alot to know early on (if I knew then what I know now, sheesh) that no matter what I did - she was never going to "love" me in the way I needed to be loved (or she promised - but that's something different). It would have been far better for me, to work on why I needed to be love in that way. There was no reality & no perspective outside of the therapy, of what was real and what wasn't. She was never going to be the mother I needed, she wasn't going to be my mother, period. I had a mother, & things didn't work out & that's something for me to explore.
I'm sorry this went off on a tangent, but I just wanted to explain part of my reason for the initial post.
& thanks for the invitation to post again, despite the difficult and uncomfortable subject.
poster:one woman cine
thread:583665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584639.html