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Re: I'm sure having a lot of poster's regret latel » Shortelise

Posted by Dinah on November 28, 2005, at 12:49:54

In reply to Re: I'm sure having a lot of poster's regret lately » Dinah, posted by Shortelise on November 28, 2005, at 12:08:22

These certainly are unusual times. I guess he realizes that. He really loved the printout of the good wishes you guys sent him a while back, so he must not mind overmuch. I hope.

I think you could do it. And *of course* Babble would stand by you. I certainly would.

If it helps you any, my therapist didn't seem to be have any negative reactions to my talking to him, what little talking we did. His main concern was that I was afraid to talk about it with him. I guess I should admit that he's not thin himself, and his weight obviously fluctuates with his mood. But I don't think that makes a big difference if someone's a therapist. I doubt they'd be judgemental.

I still think it will be hard to discuss the specifics, and I'm not even sure what the specifics are precisely. I know that part of why I hate my body is because it's hateable. I'm not only revoltingly fat, but I look like my mother. :( I guess that's a part of it, too. And I think we have talked about that some. My body also seems so unlike what I see myself as, that I hate my body for not looking like my idea of what I look like. The unfamiliarity and strangeness bothers me. But what I really don't want to do is to discuss the weight part, or anything below the neck, because I don't want him looking below the neck. It doesn't matter if he finds me repellant or not. I just don't want him noticing that I *have* a below the neck. It's not going to be easy.

And I'm not sure what the result is supposed to be? Am I supposed to learn to accept myself as I am? Or am I supposed to learn to change it?

Sigh.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:582732
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051118/msgs/582998.html