Posted by rabble_rouser on November 23, 2005, at 15:32:23
In reply to Re: I think I'm bipolar - what can I do? » rabble_rouser, posted by alexandra_k on November 20, 2005, at 17:11:11
Hi 10derHeart and alexandra_k,
wow, thankyou so much for your replies - highly informative and insightful. I was amazed to hear that the US military does not discriminate against antidepressants. I actually work in the offshore oil industry which is one of the most safety-conscious fields on earth, following major disasters such as Piper Alpha and Texas City. This thinking filters down into everything and is often reactive.
They have a substance abuse policy which covers class A's, B's and alcohol, but, I presume because of one or two (perhaps litigous) incidents in the past have also shoved antiD's in there too. I always found my thinking was clearer and brighter when I was on Effexor before (I'm not on it right now - i stopped when i took this job and have felt the decline ever since) but the UK medical community always errs on the side of extreme caution - this is why so many drugs that you can get OTC in the states are not even available on prescription here.
I see what you are saying about interpretation. The documents I have seen mention 'mental illness and / or depression', and debar persons who are on or who have ever taken antidpepressants or psychotropic medications. As you rightly lean towards at the end of your post, alexandra, this reflects a general lack of understanding acceptance by people as a whole anyway. That used to hurt, but to me its just human nature now.
You make another good point - that of high functioning. That seems to be part of my problem. Privately, I experience a great deal of pain and identify with bipolar II symptoms. But i've been like this from a little boy - so I've learned to cover certain feelings and behaviours in certain settings where I know they have caused a problem in the past. So when I see doctors or psychiatrists, who I perceive as authority figures, my neediness tends to kick in and I try to present as 'normal' as I see it. I find it hard to be emotionally expressive and can't put that pain 'out there'. Sometimes I see them when I'm on an up - and they think theres nothing wrong at all, just that I talk a bit too much. Consequently they say things like "oh we'll soon have you feeling better" or acting like "hey this guys a fake" - and all the time the pain, confusion and anger is burning under the surface.
I'm more frustrated right now because I know effexor works and can't take it, unless I drop an amazing career opportunity. It will feel like I've let my illness beat me again, after so many years of fighting it, whatever the hell it is.
Sorry to sound defeatist today, just feeling a little that way!
Thanks
Ross
poster:rabble_rouser
thread:580087
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051118/msgs/581624.html