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Re: Too sensitive -- need advice » daisym

Posted by gardenergirl on November 22, 2005, at 1:49:57

In reply to Too sensitive -- need advice, posted by daisym on November 22, 2005, at 0:44:54

Daisy,
You're post reminds me of my last two sessions. I'm not sure if it's a similar thing or not, but here goes.

Last week we were talking about the anniversary fiasco and what has gone on since. We wound up talking more about my hubby and his reactions. At one point, he said something like, "You married him knowing he was this way" which felt a bit like he was washing his hands of me, or at least this problem. Or that I had made a mistake (equals I'm bad).

I left there sobbing, in part, I think, because I knew I wouldn't be back for a week, but also because I felt like I had been sent off without supper.

In thinking about it and talking about it my session today, I felt like we never got to talk about my feelings and reactions. And I was still hurting. I wanted him to validate that (I know, I know! I need to start doing that myself..sigh). But it felt to me like my feelings and hurts were "not as important" as talking about hubby was. And that hurt. And led me a bit towards the familiar, "Maybe I'm making a big deal out of this when it's really not. Maybe I *shouldn't* feel this way."

He seemed to "get it", and I think, agree that had gone on. Although I said, "I didn't *get* to talk about my feelings," and then immediately backpedalled, knowing I could have if I really wanted to.

So, could that be what's feeling so awful? Is it that talking about issues with hubby feels like problem-solving when you still want/need to talk about your feelings about the issue?

You're doing hard but good work, I can tell. (((daisy)))

gg

 

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poster:gardenergirl thread:581132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051118/msgs/581135.html