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Re:Susan/automechanic/ A bit at a time

Posted by allisonross on October 25, 2005, at 9:14:42

In reply to A bit at a time, posted by Susan47 on October 24, 2005, at 20:10:52

> Hi, Susan: Hi Ally,
> You said "also......told him that if he had been my auto mechanic, and I had gotten to know him, I would have been attracted to, AND fallen in love with him..."
> and I just had to pick that out, because I've never known any auto mechanic, and this is not a slur of any sort on any social/economic/cultural/work group .Oh, I wouldn't have thought that.... but honestly I haven't known very many deeply philosophizing/thinking well-balanced and incredibly self-confident and intelligent auto mechanics, salesmen, lawyers, doctors, policemen (++++ on that one) ..Yes, you are right, I should have qualified that more! My thought was that I didn't fall in love with him simply because he was a therapist/kind , loving, intelligent, non-judgemental, etc., etc., etc....... there's something about this particular man which is deeply interesting.
> And I wonder,
> Is it because he's interested in ME?
> Is that what truly makes him interesting?
> Or is he as lovely, softly kind, intelligent, emotional (YES!) and vulnerable (Double YES! ... my shopping list, my emotional man shopping list, is coming to the fore.
> Do you know I had over 80 qualities I was looking for in a man? WOW!!! My shopping list....I realized a few years ago....that I am TOAST if a man is intellectual.....first and foremost, that is what attracts me, and I met a man (not the t) who was the vice-provost (high level position) at the University where I worked; I was TOAST, i was in love with him (I know he had feelings for me, etc., but was (ick) married! And HE, like the t had integrity......basically I have ONLY known 2 men who are EXACTLY what I want. My shopping list? 1. Intellectual (turn me on like crazy,) 2. sensitive 3. loves to dance (that's who I am, an dancer--singer, writer, etc...dancing is my first love; born that way) 4. sense of humor 5, empathic....there are other things, but those are the basics!
> And do you know I based every one of those positive qualities on the one man my imagination created, developed, from my ex-T?
> Sick .. or smart? Why would it be sick? However you based those qualities, those are YOUR qualities, or the qualities you need, and they make you who you are and what you want and need.
> One may never know.
Hugs, Ally




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