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Re: reading and bipolar depression/TRIGGER!!!

Posted by Shame on October 24, 2005, at 12:55:44

In reply to Re: reading and bipolar depression/TRIGGER!!! Maynerd, posted by terrics on October 21, 2005, at 18:20:46

It seems that my posts are never what you would consider 'good news'. I'm generally brutally honest with people, and I don't try to make things seem easier by bullshitting you. It is, however, quite possible that I have gone about life in totally the wrong way and have no idea what I'm talking about, but I'll share what I have with you.

I'm a BP, and I managed to claw my way through college. It took 6 1/2 years. None of my meds were working. My first real breakthrough was when I stopped holding myself to the standards of the healthy people around me. I know that sounds bad, but the fact of the matter was that I wasn't operating on the same level that they were. I accepted that I had to take fewer classes, and that I would have to take some over again. I accepted that I wasn't always going to do well. This was obviously incompatible with the view my parents, the college, and the people at financial aid shared. My therapist and psychiatrist had to write more than one letter for my appeals to the Dean to re-instantiate me despite my poor GPA. It was a very difficult time, and it's when I finally realized that this wasn't something I could hide from. I found that taking martial arts helped me focus my mind more, and the exercise helped level my moods just a bit. It was a real bitch talking myself into going when I was down, and it didn't always work out, but I think overall I got some value out of it.

I'm a bright guy. I'm an Avionics software engineer, and I'm very good at what I do. Now that I'm on the 'right' meds, things are different. Things get better. The simpler you make your life, the easier it is to get a hold on things. Once you get the diploma and your doing what you love, everything else doesn't seem as bad.

Best of luck.


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poster:Shame thread:569824
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