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Re: Such a fake **Trigger** csa antigua

Posted by JenStar on October 24, 2005, at 10:49:34

In reply to Such a fake **Trigger** csa, posted by antigua on October 23, 2005, at 18:46:46

hi Antigua,
I'm sorry you're hurting so badly! ((antigua))

I think it's true that ALL the abuse was in NO WAY your fault as a child, or even a young girl.

Children love and trust their adults, and do what they are told. Children are mimics -- they do what their adults teach them because that is the way they grow up. Children crave touch and attention, and can get trapped into "bad" touch because they are simply incapable of saying no to their adults, and don't even know that "no" is an option.

And small children even can experience orgasm or good feelings in their genitals, and that can make it even more awful and confusing, because there is a small piece of good feeling that comes along with the abuse and fear and pain and the scary confusion...and that makes the children feel guilty. But still - it is NEVER the fault of the child. NEVER.

I don't think you were less than nothing. I think your father was a sick, sick man. I think on some level he may be devastated to the point of self-hate at what he did to you. No child deserves that. Some people are very sick and cannot help their unnatural urges, even if they KNOW it's wrong and awful and terrible, even if they want to stop.

I'm NOT making excuses for him!! I just want to say that I don't believe you were EVER 'less than nothing.' You're a wonderful person who is struggling hard to overcome a difficult past. You were a wonderful child who was abused by a sick, weak, unfortunate man who had no business being near you. I'm so sorry.

I don't know what to say that might help, even though I sooooo wish I could help ease your pain. I'll just reiterate that you were NOT at fault EVER even if you loved your father, and that you were NOT 'less than nothing' -- he was sick and diseased and took a wonderful child and mistreated her awfully.

I hope you're doing OK. Please take care of yourself.

JenStar


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