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Re: Had a horrible day at work today Angela2

Posted by JenStar on October 21, 2005, at 21:32:06

In reply to Had a horrible day at work today, posted by Angela2 on October 21, 2005, at 18:42:55

I'm sorry you had a bad day! I know that coworkers can be difficult sometimes.

Here's what works for me: If someone approaches me with some kind of attitude (smirk and "I know you don't like to do this blah blah blah) I take a deep breath and stay very, very calm.

Then I ask them to sit down and talk for a minute. I don't like to talk when they're towering over me (if I'm sitting and they're standing) or if I'm standing and they're sitting. The body dynamics are off-kilter that way, and it usually leads to one person feeling more defensive.

I say something like, "Thanks for asking, but I'm definitely OK doing this. Tell me what I can do to help make this project successful. This is as important to me as it is to you, and I want to do a good job on it" or something along those lines.

I'll also confront people in a positive way. I might say something like, "Can you tell me a bit more about what you meant when you said XYZ? I apologize if I've given that impression to you, because I always try to put 100% into all of my projects. Can you give me an example of what I did to give you that impression?"

Then wait pleasantly, making eye contact, until he responds. You might be surprised to find that it was all a misunderstanding. Or at least you'll find out what he IS thinking so you can set him straight.

In my book, though, it's VERY important not to get defensive at all, even though you'll probably feel defensive and scared and nervous inside. Just act calm and in control and pleasant, but firm.

Those things REALLY work for me - I've used them before with success. :)

Good luck to you. I hope tomorrow is better!
JenStar


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poster:JenStar thread:570082
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