Posted by alexandra_k on October 7, 2005, at 18:47:18
In reply to (((((Alex))))) » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on October 6, 2005, at 17:14:20
Hey.
Yeah, the 'excuses' are inconsistent.
Because they are rationalisations so that people don't have to take me on.
But they are rationalisations from people who weren't suited to working with me.
Rationalisations from people who didn't want to see me.
The trouble with their rationalisations is that they turned them into generalisations too...
'I can't help her therefore nobody can help her'
'She didn't get better when I was giving her therapy therefore she won't get better if anyone else gives her therapy either'
And so on and so forth.
And I have hit them up about that...
About how they are making generalisations that are unfair to me.
Generalisations that do not take into account that I have managed to make significant progress with some clincians.
Went from being an inpatient more than an outpatient over a period of a couple of years...
Into supported accomodation with people who had chronic schizophrenia etc...
To going back to university and (nearly) completed a masters degree, and doing tutoring, and getting scholarships, and going to conferences etc.
And so if that doesn't count as OBJECTIVE progress, then what the f*ck does?????But then they just hang their heads and say that the sad truth is that there isn't anyone within the service who is suitable / willing to work with me.
And I reckon...
That they just need to give me a chance :-(
And there surely must be someone...> I know your therapist has hurt you. It’s something that happens in every therapeutic relationship because therapists are flawed and sometimes they’re just not there. And it hurts so much. I think it’s because we attribute cosmic significance to it. It takes on a symbolic resonance or something like that.
Yeah. I know I'm fairly sensitive to rejection at the best of times... But I have been thinking for a long while now... That me and my current t are not particularly well suited to one another. And so... I'm wondering whether what is going to happen... Is that the problems and frustrations are only likely to increase...
And I am worrying about her giving me hugs...
Because I do agree that being able to hold with your voice and what you say is better...
But we don't seem to be able to manage the latter...
And I think that is why she is resorting to the former...
But that that doesn't speak very well of good boundaries...
And good boundaries really are so very important to me...
And I'm not sure...
I don't know...
> And perhaps the same thing is true of the struggle for recognition by the people who make the decisions. They take on a symbolic significance. Their rejection reflects earlier rejections and contributes to the pain. I’m sure I’m not saying anything you haven’t already thought of.Yeah. I've thought about it a lot...
But knowing that doesn't seem to help me CHANGE my emotional responses...
And doesn't seem to help me CHANGE my behaviours either...
So I'm not sure whether its because I'm missing something, missing something important with respect to understanding...
Or whether it is that knowing it rationally isn't going to help
Untill I get to work through this with someone
Because some things it doesn't help so much to rationally know that thats whats going on...
Some things you need to experience...
Till the intensity lessens off.
And I dont' think I have a clinician who is going to be able to help me with that...> I would suggest that Plan A is to give your therapist a piece of your mind about not being there. If she’s a good therapist she can take it.
But...
I've done this to her before...
I really don't think...
I can say anything.
:-(
poster:alexandra_k
thread:563562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/564232.html