Posted by daisym on October 2, 2005, at 14:54:24
In reply to Re: Avoiding Dream Meaning » daisym, posted by Shortelise on October 1, 2005, at 20:50:39
You hugged him and that killed him?
***I guess so. I didn't see a weapon and I didn't feel mad in the dream.Do you and your therapist hug? Would it harm your realtionship if it did?
***NO - never. Before he left on vacation I really wanted to hug him good-bye. I'm very stand-offish so this is unusual for me. It has happened before, wanting to hug him. When we've talked about it I've said I didn't want to know if he would allow it or not. Because if the answer is yes, it is really scary and if it is no, it is rejection. As much as I would understand the no, I know myself well enough to know it would hurt my feelings. I would assume that he didn't want to touch me (repulsed) or be touched by me.Is showing affection dangerous?
***Yes. Allowing anyone in your personal space, especially someone with power over you, is very dangerous. I freeze, my defenses crumble and I'm vulnerable to whatever.Do you fear the destruction of that part of you that is being healed?
***Good question. The internal war is definately heated up as I try to protect myself from my feelings. I think that powerful gatekeeper fears annilation.Are you well enough that you don't really need him anymore, but part of you wants to stay with him, keep your need for him alive?
***I voice this fear a lot. How will I know? How do you separate need from want? He has lots of answers but two stick out -- one is that when I pull away and keep it all inside, I get much more suicidal. The feelings tidal wave somehow and I can't titrate it for myself. The other answer he has is more complicated. It is something about not being ashamed of my needs or my wants -- why is it such a bad thing to know what I want and to actually get it? He sort of contends that I'll be much healthier when I don't have to turn a want into a need in order to let myself have it.THis is a great one for being everything in your dream. Be the therapist. What do you feel? What's it like to die from a hug?
***I think I've done that a thousand times - and it feels really sad to die that way.
WHy do you die? ***Toxic patient? Don't know.Be the other client. How do you feel?
***Furious that this person has sucked all the life out of MY therapist. Why couldn't she just leave him alone like the rest of us do?!Such a rich dream, daisy!
Even though I left it on the phone call I suspect we will go back to it tomorrow. Why does this scare me? Is it about the hug, or is it about killing him?
poster:daisym
thread:561747
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/561972.html