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Re: CLEAR UP CONFUSION kerria

Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2005, at 6:27:32

In reply to CLEAR UP CONFUSION, posted by kerria on September 19, 2005, at 22:56:06

> T is the one who keep trying to encourage communication the past five years.

It might be his soapbox message... But five years is one hell of a long time to have not made progress on that. And so I'm wondering how much he is saying one thing... And with his behaviour he is encouraging another...

> When i saw T2, it was only for a month- four or five times.

Which isn't long enough to feel attached. Most especially given that you were still seeing T1.

> i read there that she didn't believe that everyone with DID was treatable.

Was anything else said about that? I'm wondering because I think I've read somewhere that Linehan said that not all people with Borderline Personality were treatable either. She said that she couldn't / wouldn't treat someone who wouldn't contract to working on reduction of self harm (for example). I would imagine that a lot of therapists wouldn't work with someone with DID who wouldn't contract to work on improving communication (for example).

> i'm sure that T2 would never see me again- if you read the letter you would be sure also. He said that i was T1's patient in the letter also. All along T1 has been my T.

Yeah. And he is telling you that if T1 is going to continue being your T then he can't help you. Which sounds right to me. You have to choose who you want to work with. If he didn't know you were still seeing T1 when you started working with him... Then he may well have been a little annoyed when he found out you were still seeing T1. Because it is unethical for a T to be seeing someone elses client.

> See how much is misunderstood- i'm a bad communicator

I don't really see any misunderstandings... Maybe I'm still missing something...

> He doesn't like it that i can't communicate- that's the thing he always pushes and my parts push back- or think he doesn't care about them.

So he relents and gives them what they think they want and you don't improve communication, don't seem to be improving in your functioning, don't seem to be able to manage to get to sessions...

How long has this been going on?
How long have you been seeing him?

Do you think therapy with him has improved your life at all?

Or are you going round and round the same old circles?

Because you post a lot about feeling helpless and hopeless and powerless and out of control...

And I'm wondering how much your T is actually DOING with respect to helping you move foward... Sure he seems to be SAYING the right things... But with respect to his ACTIONS your alters seem to be calling the shots... That might seem to work sort of sort of... But is it worth those feelings of helplessness etc? Maybe its time for a change.

But it has to be your call.

You need to be prepared to contract to work on improved communication and work really hard at getting everyone to contract.

And I would say... That if you aren't prepared to do that... Then most therapists wouldn't work with you.

Because you have to be willing to help yourself.

Otherwise they CAN'T help you


 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:555919
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/557211.html