Posted by Tamar on September 15, 2005, at 17:59:19
In reply to Important Session - Long, posted by cricket on September 15, 2005, at 16:28:34
Wow, cricket! That sounds like an amazing session!
I think it’s particularly wonderful that your alters were able to say that they were afraid he wanted them to go away because he didn’t like them, especially after you felt he was angry and defensive.
And his response was incredible. Going from “So how could I not like you? I barely ever see you,” (which does sound a little defensive) to “I care about you.” It sounds to me as if he rose to the challenge. He needed the challenge, I think (going by what you’ve been saying in your last few posts). But it does sound as if he’s equal to it.
And it does sound as if he’s prepared to go through everything with you. He knows it will be hard (perhaps for him as well as for you) but he seems willing to do what it takes.
And when you asked for honesty he really was honest about how he perceives your life. And he was honest about how he thinks you perceive therapy. And he was honest about feeling frustrated about the difficulties ahead and about feeling he wished he could rescue the little girl you once were. That’s pretty honest.
I’m glad you were able to tell him that you like him. You said that it’s:
> Not much but as much as I could handle.
But I think that’s huge. Especially after the way you’ve been talking about therapy recently. And I think it should go some way towards alleviating his possible fear about whether the two of you can make appropriate progress.And I really like that he said getting to know you brings pleasure, and I’m glad that the hand squeeze felt reassuring.
It sounds to me as if you’ve both made a breakthrough and you’ve both allowed yourselves a bit of vulnerability that, I hope, will lead to further progress.
I guess my main thought is about maintaining that mutual honesty in your next session. I wonder if you will feel inclined to pull away, or whether you might perceive him as pulling away, because of the intimacy (for want of a better word) in this week’s session. I would imagine it would be a natural response to want to protect yourself if you might be afraid of disclosing more. I don’t think it’s a bad thing if you feel inclined to pull away (or if he seems to pull away), but I hope if it happens you’ll be able to remember that he said he cares about you, and I hope you’ll be able to move in closer again in due course. Just a thought.
I think you’ve been incredibly courageous. Well done!
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:555322
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555352.html