Posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2005, at 19:10:43
In reply to Re: self-control » alexandra_k, posted by Damos on September 12, 2005, at 18:35:32
> >and its not even about the system anyway...
> its about my dad :-(
> but that doesn't help me.
> Oh yes it does, in all kinds of ways. It also will help your T understand why you continue to put yourself through this. It's not about the p-docs and the system per se but what they represent to you.Thats actually what my t said...
Thats what got me thinking about that.
And she thought it wasn't just about my dad...
Its about everybody..
Because when I was little..
Nobody did a goddamned thing to help me.>And maybe, just maybe that is where the anger comes from, a combination of not having that real need met and not being able to get anyone to understand what the real need is. So when you feel either of those two things, bang! you're triggered in a big, big way.
Yeah, thats right. But I don't seem to be able to stop it... Last time I'd say 'I'm sorry - its not about you, I know its not your fault'. And I knew that and I meant that. But then I'd keep on. And have to say it again. And round and round I'd go. And I was just kind of screaming at myself to shut the hell up and stop it. But just kind of feeling like I was just observing myself going on and on and on...
>I think that even the stuff you said about the way your partner 'lost it' once before at an appointment is an important part of it.
??
Not sure what you mean there.. I hadn't thought of that.. Do you mean about my mother scaring everybody away from me?> Alex, I am in no way smart or skilled enough to be much help to you here.
You are heaps of help.
Really.>But you are smarter and stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know you can take this piece of knowledge and work with it. I know you can.
I hope so.
I really really hope so.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:554076
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554354.html