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Dependence and attachment

Posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2005, at 23:32:34

In reply to Re: Therapy » Angela2, posted by alexandra_k on September 5, 2005, at 18:09:10

Hi Angela2,
I just wanted to comment on the attachment/dependence thing. I think in many cases, you need to become more attached and a bit dependent for awhile in order to do the hardest work. I think that helps foster trust and deepening in what you are talking about...really getting into the hard stuff...which othewise might not feel safe if you couldn't depend on your T.

It's also a bit like how an infant or small child has to depend on the parents for safety, comfort, security, and learning. At least it's supposed to be that way. But many of us didn't get that much security in childhood. So getting a sort of second chance to have that and to develop from that experience can be very valuable.

But at some point, the therapy shifts to you being less attached and less dependent. That needs to happen, too, and it usually does.

But I can understand worrying about feeling dependent. I have worried about that and if it makes me "weak" and such before. I've worried that I will never get better enough to feel ready to terminate. My T always reassures me that I'm not weak or helpless, and I feel better about the attachment now.

gg

 

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poster:gardenergirl thread:550948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/552526.html