Posted by daisym on September 6, 2005, at 18:52:07
In reply to Re: Sorting stuff out » daisym, posted by Annierose on September 5, 2005, at 8:36:01
We've been talking about this for a long time. A good friend of mine said to me yesterday, "your therapist is not the other man" -- and she is right, he isn't the reason we've grown apart. But my feelings for him make me feel guilty, because I trust him with my feelings and I can't share anything with my husband.
It is complicated and sad. We are both changing and both struggling with this. My therapist said today that I'm still operating on a wish to cure my husband, both from his illnesses and from his unhappiness. I think intellectually I know I'm not responsible for his unhappiness butI feel like I'm in the way of it somehow.
And...for whatever reason, my husband likes to zing barbs about my therapist and therapy at me when he is mad. I feel defensive (and guilty) and selfish (and guilty) and I even thought about quitting this weekend. But I think the part of me that has grown stronger because of therapy is the part that won't let me quit, even to make my husband happy. Right, wrong or indifferent.
I wish there was an easy solution
poster:daisym
thread:549855
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/551520.html