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Re: Crisis - T became so defensive /may be triggering » kerria

Posted by alexandra_k on September 3, 2005, at 21:09:45

In reply to Crisis - T became so defensive /may be triggering, posted by kerria on September 2, 2005, at 0:03:08

> i want to go back to that. Now i understand what my H means when he said that therapy ruined me.

yes. i think contact with community mental health about ruined me too. on first contact... i was hospitalised because they were concerned about suicide risk... i deteriorated on admission... and spent two years more as an inpatient than an outpatient. picked up all sorts of odd manerisms etc. in the good old days i suppose i would have been a lifer... but the modern spirit of deinstitutionalisation and all... i just managed to swap institutions is all. but i'm still dependent.

> My T became so defensive. Why he did is so much a mystery to me.

because you were telling your t that they made you worse not better. thats got to be a pretty hard thing to take...

a lot of did experts reckon that things have to get worse before they get better. i've read a fair bit of stuff... and by the sounds of it (especially in complex cases) they expect it to get a whole lot worse. and as for what i think... well... to be honest i don't think it has to get as bad as all that.

but the worse people appear to be (if only for a limited time) the better the therapists success looks later.

> i know about DID but am not able to do the work for the treatment/cure. That's why it was worse for me to know about DID.

okay. you are not able to do the work your therapist thinks essential / necessary for the treatment / cure. most of the specialists form something of a closed set and they are in agreement on what is required for the treatment / cure. i can see that it would be fairly pointless to go see another specialist because what you would get would probably be fairly much the same thing....

this is just my personal opinion....
but i think you would do far better with someone who thought a little more outside the box...
i have recieved a lot of help with dbt.
typically done for borderline personality disorder...
but then some theorists (Colin Ross for instance) thinks that did exists as a severe form of bpd anyways.
the first year of treatment is mostly about building trust
learning skills to help you function better in your daily life
those things need to be well established before starting on the traumatic stuff.

so imo... you might be better off looking to people who are outside that specialist set.

a t who distances themself somewhat from that.

> if it were only possible to go back to the sweeter innocent hopeful person i was before, ignorantly thinking that i had a good childhood and that i had 'forgot' all the fun i had growing up. Now there's no way to work on it and T is so angry- he defends himself and i didn't accuse him of anything.

there would have been good times too.
there would have been good times in your childhood too.
and you used to be able to function fairly well
:-)
so those good memories must still be lurking...
and those skills that enabled you to function are already within you.
i think you need someone to help you get back in touch with those for a while...
a fair while...
then when you are stabilised it is up to you whether you want to deal with trauma or not.
you may find benefit to it...
or you may not.

but first things first...
getting your life back on track.


 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:549875
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/550477.html