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Re: Afraid of what he'll find out about me **trigger** fairywings

Posted by daisym on August 29, 2005, at 15:41:41

In reply to Re: Afraid of what he'll find out about me **trigger** Tamar, posted by fairywings on August 29, 2005, at 15:26:02

I think you think you need to jump into the deep end to prove you can swim. I don't think he is asking you to do that. It sounds more like he wants to know how you like the water - hot or cold? - and do you swim with your head under the water, or out? Etc. Etc.

Getting to know you means setting up a context for the work. How old are you, what kind of a mother, wife and woman are you? How do you self-soothe, who are your friends? Not the messy dark stuff if you don't want to start there. And as this happens, I think you get to know him. Does he tell stories, or use metaphors? Does he shift when he is thinking, or sit really still? Does he wear blue on Tuesdays...stuff like that.

Don't push yourself too hard. He hasn't earned your trust yet, as good as his credentials and recommendations are. You have to let that grow a little, and then you might feel like telling him stuff. I do think that it is good though that you want to be as honest as you can in order to let him help you. This is important. I'm surprised at the number of people who go into therapy putting their best foot forward trying to prove they are are just fine.

If we were all just fine, why would we have entered therapy in the first place?!

 

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