Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Starting over again/Missing my ex-T » fairywings

Posted by Tamar on August 21, 2005, at 16:50:52

In reply to Starting over again/Missing my ex-T, posted by fairywings on August 20, 2005, at 21:53:48

I’m so sorry things didn’t work out with your ex-T. I can understand why you were angry with him. I think it’s true that a lot of people are particularly stressed about financial matters (particularly people with kids), and it’s often a major source of conflict between couples, so perhaps it’s on your ex-T’s list of things to keep asking about. But there are ways of asking sensitively…

I’m sure you miss him a lot. You put a lot of effort into that relationship, despite your initial misgivings. You put your trust in him, and in many ways he demonstrated that he deserved that trust. And yet, in other ways it seems he let you down. No wonder you’re hurt and angry and missing him all at the same time. I’m really curious about your appointments being shorter than his other patients – and I wonder how long they were. There’s a kind of ‘industry standard’ of about 50 minutes (though it can vary), so if you were only seeing him for 35 or 40 minutes, I’d be curious about why. It doesn’t seem like long enough.

I agree with what others have said about seeing your ex-T in the waiting room: it’s perfectly acceptable for you to come to the decision that your ex-T wasn’t a good fit for you. There’s nothing to be uncomfortable or embarrassed about. If he’s at all professional he won’t take it personally. If you see him, you don’t have to speak to him. Just raise your eyebrows in acknowledgement of his presence. If you do see him he’ll be otherwise occupied, so he shouldn’t be too interested in interrogating you about your reasons for quitting. (And if he does, you could always tell him straight that he made you very angry…) Remember that you are a strong, intelligent woman capable of making your own decisions!

I really hope things work out with your new therapist.

Tamar


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Tamar thread:544559
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/544885.html