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Re: Therapy vs. Real Life (LONG) Daisym

Posted by antigua on August 12, 2005, at 15:50:02

In reply to Re: Therapy vs. Real Life (LONG) antigua, posted by Daisym on August 12, 2005, at 15:11:47

As always Daisy, thanks for your help.

"but I would guess if I worked closely with or had a friendship with a soft spoken guy, they might develop. But I stay away from that on purpose."

***he is a very soft spoken guy and when I first met him years ago, my internal alarm went off and said stay away from him, he's trouble for you. I usually can spot them and do stay away from them, but something happened this time.

"Have you considered that you might not ever be able to "let them go?"
***Yes, Daisy, I have, and all those times I threaten to quit therapy, it has been about me thinking I've gotten as far as I can and that I need to bandage the wounds and move on. Unfortunately, they come back years later and the danger is even greater to me because the feelings are still unresolved. If I could be sure that when I shut them down that they would stay away I'd be tempted to do it, but of course there are no guarantees. I shut them down twice before and here I still am.

"I think I'm with Tamar here, I'd take them back into therapy. There is a lot to look at, and I don't think you can work through these feelings with this man without getting really hurt or getting involved. Neither seems the option you would want."

***You're right, I'm not so worried about losing the relationship w/him as I am in dealing with myself in the aftermath. I do not want to feel the shame, humiliation, rejection, spiraling out of control downward that I feel with the csa and I can't guarantee how this man will react.

"The question is really how long would it take you to trust a male, given your past experience with a male therapist, in order to sort through this."

***I'd be dead before that; I just don't see me opening up all over again.

I'll think about the group therapy and ask my T what she thinks. I did go off and do EMDR last year with her permission, but it really seemed to hurt our relationship.

Thanks again. I will think about all this and remind myself that I'm a good woman and that I really have to protect myself.




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