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Re: Therapy vs. Real Life (LONG) » Tamar

Posted by antigua on August 12, 2005, at 15:37:00

In reply to Re: Therapy vs. Real Life (LONG) » antigua, posted by Tamar on August 12, 2005, at 13:19:44

Tamar, thank you for your response. I appreciate it.

"I’ve had a similar experience to the one you describe, about having transference-type feelings for a man who isn’t my husband. I think you were very brave to tell him! Are you relieved or disappointed that he doesn’t have feelings for you (or a bit of both)?"

***It may have been brave or very stupid, but I was so selfish I had to unleash my burden. I think I'm relieved he doesn't have feelings, but I think the fact that I knew he was unavailable made him that much more attractive.

"you’d be better off working it out in therapy rather than trying to work through it with the man himself. He might not understand what it all means to you and he might not have the skills to help you (unless he’s a therapist!). And it could have quite a negative effect on your marriage."

***you're probably more than right, but I can't seem to work these feelings out in therapy, no matter how much I try.

"But erotic transference is not an inevitable consequence of therapy with a male T, and if you went searching for it you might take a while to find it."
***In all truthfulness, I wouldn't start all over again w/a male. I think I've come so far that it would be far too intrusive on my life and what I really want is my life back now!

I have talked to my T a little bit about my feeling that I need to work this through with a man, and I guess I'll just keep it up.
thanks again,




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