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a suggestion.. messadivoce

Posted by orchid on August 10, 2005, at 13:46:01

In reply to Sigh (long), posted by messadivoce on August 9, 2005, at 22:19:40

Hi Voce,
I do feel for you, and you know I have been there too.

But..

This is a perfect scenario, for you to explore yourself and change your responses to scenarios like this. Because if you don't do that, it is most likely to happen again in the future - not with your ex T, but with someone else perhaps. So, it is you who needs to learn, the way to deal with things like these, without letting it get to you. Because the world is not always going to be kind and friendly and warm and affectionate.

This is what I used to feel, and felt so many many many times brushed off, rejected, hurt, vulnerable, painful when people did that to me. My ex T, a couple of old friends perhaps.

But as Gandhi said "Nobody can take your self esteem away if you don't give it up yourself".

Don't let people get to you like this. Know your own self worth. And give yourself the approval and affection you need. If we depend on others, then it hurts a lot when they don't give it us. But if we give it to ourselves, then we are fine either way.

That is what I am practicing for myself nowadays. I am trying to understand why from childhood I always depended on someone else to tell me I am ok, give me the affection and approval, and I realized that it was the way my father brought me. And I am trying to break away from that habit. It is hard work, but in the end it is worth it.

Maybe you could do it too.


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/539947.html