Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Thanks for thinking of me, Daisy!

Posted by Pfinstegg on August 9, 2005, at 12:40:16

In reply to For Pfinstegg - though you probably aren't readin, posted by Daisym on August 5, 2005, at 15:36:52

I appreciate it so much. The last year in therapy has been almost overwhelming at times. The younger parts are much more present, emotionally, which my T thinks is a very progressive development. But they are so frightened and alone that I (the grown-up) sort of lost my strong connection to my T- the thing that I had treasured and counted on. I even lost a sense of being connected to wonderful people here like you and Dinah. For a long time now, there's been very little "me", and a lot of "them". Sometimes, I would complain at how painful it was- that I wasn't used to bearing so much pain- and he would gently remind me
that this was not the first, but the second time- that I had endured it all once before- in childhood-, but had needed to put it away in unconscious parts of my mind.

I am trying now to allow their pain in, and to comfort them- also to allow it in in my sessions while "I" maintain my connection with him. The most difficult part, for me, is to find a way for the parts to be able to talk to him, and develop trust and a relationship with him. For me, it's easy and natural, but for them, so hard. I can't say things are too much better, yet. The main development is that I understand much better what I need to do in therapy. Doing it seems to be an enormous challenge.! I think an ego state disorder, or DID, is one of the most difficult things to have, because you keep gaining and losing your perspective and insight. I used to think that, once I understood something and truly felt it, it would be with me forever, and I could build on it in living my life. This isn't nearly as true as I had thought and hoped. But, to really get to the heart of what's wrong with us, I know I have to keep them in mind, and allow them to grow through interaction with my analyst.

Other things are somewhat better, though. My son will be having a lovely wedding to a wonderful girl in October, and I just finished running an enormous 100th year family reunion. So, there is a "me" who is managing to keep going through all of this.

Awfully hard, though, isn't it?




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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

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