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Re: Are you sure you're not my sister? » Racer

Posted by daisym on August 5, 2005, at 9:47:32

In reply to Are you sure you're not my sister? » daisym, posted by Racer on August 4, 2005, at 23:59:42

I have no talent for knitting...though we do both love buttons!

This is a hard one, sitting with those feelings. It is the anxiety that is the worst - I have no real reason to feel anxious. I can understand sad, or even mad, but anxious? Where does THAT come from?

I think that is why therapy was so hard yesterday. I wanted to be at a solution, or at least closer to one, and I was still just a tangle of inarticulate feelings. And really old feelings. I told him all about the dark -- how many kinds of dark there are, and especially about the dark that is dangerous. You know, the dark that happens when you close your eyes and you peer into the darkest corners of your mind...

Not logical at all. Not constructive. And uninvited tears come out of conversations like that, instead of solutions.

I have wondered if the "tears won't help fix it" edict that I heard over and over again is one of the reasons that I can't tolerate comfort very well. I want it, I long for it, but I have no faith that I'll ever feel comfortable just allowing someone else to comfort me.

*sigh* This is hard isn't it? Maybe you should write a book - exercising your feeling muscle. I bet it would be a hit.

 

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